Divorces really suck especially when kids are involved. It’s hard enough navigating that tough time as an adult, let alone being a kid with no idea what is going on. That's why it's vital to have compassionate conversations with your children while also considering their well-being and emotional state. Below are some tips on how you can talk to your kids about separation without making them feel more stressed than they already do!
Create Space for Dialogue
As parents, you want the very best for your child/children, don’t you? So put down Snapchat every once in a while and allow space where your relationship won't be judged or broken by technology interference (holler at helicopter moms and dads). Designate a neutral ground – whether it be outside taking in some fresh air or snuggled up on the couch-- somewhere calm, just ensure these spaces provide good breathing room (we mean this literally too!). Start off by asking how things have been making them feel lately? Without prying too much throw out questions like “What has been happening; What would they like to happen, now?
Do Not Involve Them
To quote one of our favorite romantic comedies– always keep little people little—AKA Let’s protect those innocent ears from overhearing anything traumatic (like Mommy poisoning Daddy or something…just kidding - but we’re sure y'all get the point) Neither party should use their children as go-between messengers either! This will only place unnecessary pressure onto vulnerable beings who probably just want their mommy & daddy together again( sigh- so do we), creating even more upset-filled emotions for everyone including them -- save yourselves from impending headaches because trust us when we say depression is not strictly confined to adults.
Keep Negativity At Bay
While talking about separations may cause negative emotions to surface, displaying bitterness or anger in front of your children is a definite no-no! Complaints about your soon-to-be ex-partner should always be shared with friends only. As tempting as it may be to vent and voice frustrations towards the situation at hand just avoid doing so around them- kids pick up on everything even if they don't understand why their beloved parents are bickering back & forth like Kim Jong Un & Donald Trump-- You’re better than petty fights that occur over who gets custody - [Cusses]. Instead, use compassionate language during the conversation and focus on what’s best for everyone involved (in particular your precious bundles of joy).
Routine Is Key
It's important to maintain structure during transitional times because a new normal can cause stressors for all individuals involved_._ Structure and familiarity create comfort zones; which will help diminish their feelings of frustration or fear, stick to schedules such as school timings, bedtimes etcetera. If changes have been made due to legal battles set time aside making sure you establish events they enjoy having fun at such as trips together focused solely on bonding time between Mommy/Daddy; try maintain consistency especially when setting boundaries.
Please Rule Out Blame Games
Even Though this applies in most situations it remains true whilst explaining change–children do not need unnecessary blame being placed upon either party without context accompanying information supplied afterwards –don’t underestimate their intelligence remember most these days probably built architecture models by themselves (#letthembelittleplease) Before beginning any conversations ensure each parent holds respect while explaining [why] the separation/divorce was taking place recognizing that both mother/father share responsibility before acknowledging how things could/will work differently (already sounds immensely relieving). Convey forgiveness where necessary yet make sure you discuss improved steps still left ahead fortifying greatness achieved already}. So don’t forget: Forgive yourself forgive others forgive yourselves forgive others.
Make Sure They Know That They Are Safe
Your children need reassuring that change isn't always a bad thing (why not try remembering back to the good ol' days when we had no worries); after all, security is one of our basic needs right? (insert “ Maslow's Theory Of Needs)Let your child know they are safe and secure by explaining your plans for handling this transition period with extra care ensuring solid adaptability whilst acknowledging any struggles in advance- Encourage them to discuss their feelings further if forced feel they cannot cope –better safe than sorry n’est-ce pas??!
Always Keep The Door Open & Progress Report
Separation can be hard on parents as well-- especially while trying maintain identities outside parenting- You don’t want them burdened with certain problems; however it’s advisable you include them occasionally leading up such life-changing events by keeping communication flowing at all times– let the sunlight in generously once the storm has finally passed through. Allow kids to test out new waters too see how things pan out saying something along lines of “if there are ever issues or moments where you feel overwhelmed.” Main takeaway here letting each party involved habitually aware things unsteady foundation but strengthening pillars supporting all remember keep negativity out shed light on positivity-proactive living; achieve lifelong satisfaction!
Conclusion: Remember This Is Not The End But A Start To New Beginnings
Separation—Just hearing word alone induces anxiety which is entirely understandable-being exposed too unfortunate circumstances leaving us wondering what will affect those closest us negatively for rest lives It takes some time understanding everything yourself including whatever steps necessary facilitating closure needed aimed towards starting fresh regardless either/or parties get carried through road past relationships quickly learning grass greener other side celebrating new beginnings instead lamenting loss old way Enjoy positive outcomes increased love amongst family members individuals alike see whether separation lead better paths happiness/fulfillment! After all, we should try look on even in negative situations because there’s bound someone needing infectious positivity within range so Spread Love Not War :]
Final Thoughts
-Create An Atmosphere That Is Comfortable-Free From Distracting Electronics -Don't Involve Kids In Legal Battles. Spare Them the Trauma -Maintain a Structured Routine to Allow for Long-Term Stability -Acknowledge Both Parents' Triggers, And Move Forward Without Bias or Blame Games -Provide Honest Reassurance To Children Stating No Ill Action Will Be Taken Towards Bodily Harm -Continue Being Supportive Of Your Child's Needs as they Continue To Value Themselves Within Relationships-New and Old! ( For example Starting Periods & such)