Marriage is tough. It's a full-contact sport with no timeouts, coaches, or second-stringers. With such high stakes involved, it's natural to ask: is marriage supposed to be hard?
Well buckle up folks, because we're going on a wild ride through the intricacies of modern-day relationships and pulling back the curtains on whether love bites are unavoidable.
The Disney illusion
First things first- let's tackle this glossy image of selfless love that has been engraved into our brains by cough Disney movies since our childhoods. Sure there’s nothing wrong with falling deeply in love but believing that two people can simply gaze at each other for ten seconds and know their destiny forever more - It’s time to snap out of it
Romanticism Vs Reality
Romanticism portrays an idea where two people will find each other cliche movie style whilst reality introduces us intoa world where maintaining relationships involves grit sweat deadlines and chores which well lets face who those romantic writing could have thought about centuries ago?
Is there any scientific basis?
While it might sound too cliched - There does exist some scientific research behind why marriages tend to get challenging over time.
Leading scientist John Gottman theorizes “the ratio of positive-to-negative interactions between healthy couples as 5:1" basically meaning keep your positivity percentages higher than half , things won’t fall apart completely.
The Fundamental Cause
Nevertheless what causes all these arguments though? Well the reason being- we’re human! And humans aren't usually perfect creatures resulting in clashes every now and then .But thats okay i'm not here to blame just one side so listen up you little lovely beings , Its important for couples 'to truly understand each other’s perspectives if they wanna evolve from evolutionarily flawed creatures,' sociologist Dr.Lisa Wade suggests.
To each their own
Before jumping into conclusions about marriage lets take a look at both arranged marriages vs love marriages. Each kind arrives with their individual challenges so much so in fact it’s invalid to determine whether any kind of marital setup will have higher probability of success as the learned experts debate far and wide whilst leaving the common folk confused .
For instance, An Arranged marriage is often looked upon for fostering longevity , raising children right and building on exisiting family ties but having to become compatible later can result in couple bickering over littlest things.
On the other hand Love marriages have been known to escalate faster and has relatively quicker amicable breakups owing to fewer baggage from past But that doesn’t mean people happily ever after all music video style YET AGAIN . Relationships require effort & commitment.
Let's get Real!
There are plenty of biological forces kicking around behind this whole idea too. In our younger years, we inevitably experience some crushes, infatuations or romantic flings lasting until longer because our brains produce more “pleasure chemicals” in youth than when reaching adult hood turning relationships into an easy drive . But getting older we learn consequences more quickly leading us towards skepticism , causing generational conditions like baby boomer / gen z resentment looks up imagining arguments every thanksgiving dinner So it's no rocket science that couples who’ve been together for decades might eventually go through patches where they doubt if ‘the grass truly is greener on the other side’
Reality- "It sure ain't sunshine!"
But gentlemen / ladies fear not - I’m here today telling you that despite what you see around those strolls in park happen once in awhile even after married life gets hard.
It’s important remember though – there isn’t going be one specific reason why every relationship struggles since everyone deals with diverse issues thrown along over time span albeit finances/alcoholism/varying lifestyles/ communication breakdowns And so on but this doesn't hold enough weightage to assume every marriage is a failboat.
The Age Old Combat Strategy ?
Talk about Better Communication!. Married folks (and soon-to-be-married folks), listen up: There’s nothing more important in life than clear, open communication. One should be able to comfortably walk up and say "Honey we're headed straight for suffering!" grab hands and make things count again!
In conclusion - It's all good
Although the truth of the matter is that nobody from any season can breeze through as if surrounded by butterflies & Rainbows , Marriage might not necessarily be 'hard' either. Sure it comes with its own rigors ranging from days you’d rather sleep off your problems than face them head-on; however experiencing new adventures alongside someone you deeply love whilst not forgetting respecting their sense of self simultaneously- makes it worth the ride every single time!
So at last theres no wrong answer since everything relies purely on individual context wherein one takes care of one's partner without compromising self.health.
Cheers to happy marriages !!!