It's finally here, the big day you've been anticipating for nine long months. The day your little bundle of joy is separated from your body and takes its first breath outside of the womb. But what happens after that? How do you navigate this new world where you are responsible for another human being? Fear not, dear reader! In this article, we will explore life unplugged and all that comes with it.
The First Few Weeks
Welcome to Parenthood
Congratulations on becoming a parent! You are now part of an elite group of individuals who have vowed to take care of another person for at least 18 years (but let's be honest, it never really ends). Don't worry if you don't know what to do; no one does. Just remember to breathe and take everything as it comes.
Surviving Sleep Deprivation
You may have heard about how babies don't sleep through the night. Well, they weren't kidding. Say goodbye to a full night's rest because your little bundle of joy has other plans - like screaming until dawn or waking up every two hours needing a feeding or diaper change. But fear not! This too shall pass (eventually).
There are many ways to feed your baby - breastfeeding, formula feeding, combination feeding - but regardless of which method you choose, just remember one thing: it's all about keeping your baby fed and healthy. Never feel guilty about how you choose to nourish your child; all that matters is that they're getting what they need.
Month Two Through Three
Back To Work? Good Luck With That
If returning back-to-work is in the cards post-baby arrival then good luck my friend! Your boss probably won’t acknowledge this challenge & will expect output akin prior pre-pregnancy levels which may seem economical, but is devoid of any real world logic. But some employers are sympathetic to the plight cause and offer flexible schedules or even work from home arrangements.
Get in Shape
If someone tells you it isn't a competition post-baby weight loss, they're lying. There's pressure all around us to get back into pre-baby shape. But don’t hang yourself up over ’who shed how much’ baby weight as long as you look good albeit confined within the four walls of your house--which brings us to our next point.
Meeting friends used be routine leisurely activity but after becoming parents this legendary freedom becomes an urban myth like New Year celebrations sans mandatory restock restricted hours! You're now at the mercy of nap times and feedings. Conversations with other adult humans are fleeting (but always appreciated). Your childless friends may start dropping off the radar & practicality dictates that your pals’ circle will see new members who share playdates on weekends as substitute for boozing/partying nights nay “Wrinkle-in-Time” memories!
Month Four Through Six
Baby’s An Explorer! Lookout Now
Your little one has finally discovered their hands/feet, learning torso support tricks rolling from left-right then viceversa-- basically everything we take granted keep distance on remote controls for safety reasons!. Babies cover more ground than Mario Kart with surprising speed so block stairs with temporary gatekeeping barriers safeguard every nook-&-cranny putting objects higher up beyond baby reach etc…
Feeding Started Getting Fun…Sort Of
Clarification: feeding process itself hasn’t changed much except less volume when compared earlier months although soon-mushy food starting fun time ahead yay---tastes buds enhanced by apple-poline experiences make sure cleaned post-meal lest stickier efforts later cleaning ensues—especially if organic food a la noble cause advocates.
Post-Partum Hair Loss
So this is the one thing that no one warned you about: the hair loss. All of those lush pregnancy locks that had grown during your nine long months? Yeah, they've decided to jump ship post-birth. But don’t worry-- it’s completely normal (thankfully temporary) and can be attributed to hormone fluctuations from giving birth.
Month Seven Through Nine
Time To Pay Some Attention!
Adorable baby gestures include calling for attention in various ways like cooing when hungry sleepy cranky etc yet mostly do whatever middle finger babies show enthusiasm towards but hey let’s not forget we signed up bound by duty to nurture guide them lovingly memories etched as our “Gold Standard” of witness!
Baby's First Words …Or Not?!
It seems like all of your friend’s children are ahead on their milestones, especially at this point where most infants have tried talking matters...except yours hasn't said so much as 'dada.' Don't fret because just about every parent has been there. Every child develops differently and has their own pace that they march(especially wordsmiths later).
Dealing With Judgmental People
There will always be people who judge your parenting style or decisions - whether it's how you choose to feed your kid or which preschool you enroll them into– ignore negativity whilst paying heed useful suggestions critiques come as a package deal esp now personal liberties basic human rights contentious factors themselves against each other.
Month Ten Through Twelve
Baby-proof Everything…Again and Again
Your little bundle of joy has entered full-scale adventure mode–ready for more exploration than ever before continue locking gates securing anything moveable potential hazard covers highly sought after pulling-based dilemmas while further anchoring heavy furniture items lest teeter-totter chaos ensues!
Farewell to Infant Clothings
The infant period that seemed so fleeting in retrospect but it’s over and your little one is soon going to graduate from onesies and sleepers to actual outfits post-bath time. While retail outfit drops may feel like “money sinks” focus on reaching milestones--the moment for the camera owing souvenirs memories priceless remainder of our lives!
Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock – It’s Almost Birthday Time
Your baby's first birthday is right around the corner! Time flies when you're not sleeping. As you shop for supplies and cake or plan a birthday party, reflect back upon everything you've accomplished in just 12 months - including keeping this tiny human alive through screaming nights, blowouts (not the fun kind), diaper changes & constant bleary-eyed state.
In closing, life unplugged can be a wild ride. But along with all of its challenges come some wonderful moments too: coos from your child filling your heart with delight; steps taken for growth towards more mature skins; golden opportunities realizing we live shared experiences parenting likely never dreamt before incredible surge self-discovery capacity empathize more every playful memory sealed away forever---despite sleepless nights which vanish through adorable smiles makes parenthood worth living even when hiccups routinely occur everyday motherhood/paternity practices are a delightful journey well-traveled although heading into unknown territories we thank our lucky stars having sweet people such as yours truly writing helpful articles especially using humor interwoven pragmatism helps make seemingly insurmountable task achievable!