As parents, we all want our children to grow up happy and healthy. We do everything in our power to create the perfect environment for them to thrive in. However, sometimes things don't go according to plan, and we find ourselves yelling at our kids.
Yelling is never good, but have you ever considered how it affects your child? Let's take a closer look at the lasting impact that yelling can have on a child.
The Immediate Effects
When you yell at your child (which I'm sure you've never done), there are immediate effects that can arise:
- Fear
- Anxiety
- Low self-esteem
- Resentment
- Anger
These emotions can cause your child to feel disconnected from you and make arguments harder because no one wants to communicate with someone who just shouted "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
Long-Term Impact on Behavior
If yelling continues regularly over time (let's say eleven years), those feelings mentioned above – (fear, anxiety, low self-esteem) – can become embedded within their behavior. That means they begin acting out these repressed emotions by breaking rules or lying about failures so as not face repercussions.
This might be where rebellion comes into play people! In retrospect could possibly explain why Susan wouldn't come home until 11 pm when she was supposedto be home by curfew but then again maybe blame that on Sue's much cooler friend Karen...butI digress..back toyelling....
In addition, children often mirror behavior modeled for them by parents which could mean aggressive language or actions leadsin ways such asto tantrums with ease; becoming more argumentative leading tobetter communication practices like shouting instead of genuinely talking through issues in a calm manner (peaceful talk). This erodes effective social skills!
The Impact on Parent-Child Relationship
When the child consistently reacts to difficult situations with aggression, yelling may have broken down trust between parent and child - as children could not see their parents as a safe space who would listen/care for them but instead viewed them as oppressors. Their adolescent years will then be spent trying (in vain) to fill the void left by emotionally unavailable guardians.
This in turn turns into resentment which reflects itself in actions such as going behind the parent's back, keeping secrets from parents(as they reason "why tell an enemy?"), or leading a double life with friends so that their home life doesn't interfere with their real identity.
Yelling can result in loss of intimacy within family units..tear us apart..the magnitude of what we could lose if we continue...feeling all typesof sad now.....
Strategies for Combatting Yelling
Sometimes it isn't easy breaking bad habits like yelling but here some things you can do:
- Practice mindfulness
- Take 10-minute breaks when feeling irritated
- Come up with calming phrases to remember during heated moments
- Address underlying emotion instead of just reacting (i.e., deep breathing exercises)
Remember – it’s important to explain why something isn't OK without threatening unhealthy consequences usually involving grounding or revoking access your kids have grown accustomed making sure both parties are calm!
Conclusion
In summary, yelling is never OK, whether at work or home! If yelling goes unchecked over time, negative ways-of-being embedded in our little ones often emerge resulting disruption familial connection and forging stronger future relationships taken forward; feelings amplified through teen age angst culminating potentially irreparable damage throughout adult lives!
Let's treat children more gently than less: patience and care go wayyyyyyyy further knowing that ultimately howthey react has resulted from that one stern word too many..so let's keep our homes environments as close to peaceful as possible!