As a host, you always expect your guests to treat you with the respect and dignity that you deserve. However, sometimes hospitality can turn sour when someone disrespects you in your own house. This is not only frustrating but also embarrassing especially if other people are present.
So what should you do when faced with such an unwelcome situation? In this article, we will explore some tips on how to handle it without losing your cool or compromising on your boundaries.
Don't Take It Personally
First things first, don't take it personally. People act out for different reasons and oftentimes they're unaware of their actions. Try to keep calm and understand that perhaps they don't realize how their behavior is affecting others.
It's important not to jump into conclusions about why someone might disrespect you in your own house. Some may simply be unaware of basic social etiquette while others may have personal issues clouding their judgement (like the aunt who always starts trouble at holiday gatherings).
Communicate Clearly
During any interaction where someone seems to be acting out towards me I find myself repeating "Calm down Karen." And honestly most Karens do need a reality check now and then- there comes a point though where calmly communicating becomes necessary over these snarky remarks made by family members time after timeagain.
If possible assess the individuals behavior toward everyone around them; maybe that co-worker thats so easily irritable had some stressful stuff going on outside work or something switched upsetting moods unnecessarily - this action taken was uncalled for whatever happened before entering your home today shouldn't affect anyone else having a great time under "your roof".
Be firm yet gracious while setting clear boundaries(Please behave respectfully towards everybody here). Letting them know what behaviors are unacceptable cuts off further disrespectful acts right short! Which brings us onto another point...
Use "I" Statements
You can make it clear that you feel disrespected or uncomfortable with their behavior, without putting the blame entirely on them. Like a dinner guest getting too drunk at Thanksgiving for example- its not our fault they're tipsy (unless you've been plying those glasses...) but the quickest way to handle these situations involves taking control of your perspective with an "I'm feeling alot of tension and I'd like it to be kept under wraps for now." Approach any conversation about respecting boundaries in this manner - remember we are all human beings trying find common ground.
Don't Engage in Drama
When someone is being disrespectful towards you there can often be a temptation to engage in drama. Do not get sucked into conflict if it is petty or appears pointless(Cant stress this enough). It's neither helpful nor pleasant coming from house owner seting people straight after drink number 2 asking: "Whats Your Problem?" Or other colorful retorts...
If possible keep context cool; By focusing on surrounding guests/relatives needs it will give such people less opportunities interrupt atmosphere created early on... which also helps trap annoyance beforehand(they could even emulate what worked really well!)
most importantly, keeping calm will lend itself effectively while mitigating others bad attitudes by diverting attention away from them and back onto more positive subjects(maybe some old stories they use dto tell during gatherings)
Practice Forgiveness
One of the most difficult things when someone disrespects us as hosts, is forgiving them afterwards(why makes everything sticky?!).
Yet practice forgiveness regardless(assumning situation wasn't actually warranted). Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting(abosolving?) but rather releasing ourselves(Control? pressures from holding grudges?)of past grievances(spelling?)
In case where unwanted scenario unfolds continuously over time-I cant speak enough about sitting down privately and explaining to offender level of discomfort or hurt they're instilling in you personally at home. Keeping rationale completely aired out for likely chance the "perpetrator" doesn't have a any idea actions are causing aggrivation can change unwanted guest list(but don't be so sure on this one)
Set Boundaries Ahead Of Time
It is vital when hosting events that boundaries are set ahead of time! Make it clear what behaviors are acceptable before people even walk through your doors(so we can all barter in some sanity). This seems super obvious but leads to less unexpected conflicts which leave negativity and tension behind.
Having certain protocols (not allowed smoking, respectful language)of how guests should behave will avoid needing constant reminders like: "No one takes food from other peoples plates". Reducing these types of small disruptions prevents further bitterness.
Share Your Values
People respect other peoples' values more than their personality traits/quirks(settles them after wow factor)just as much in our private homes; Even if someone has different ways spending holidays or just general life choices-there's not really anything wrong with communication & discussing the subject calmly.
Sharing basic values could mean cutting down conflicting stances(short example:- Drunk driving vs taking an Uber). If something about your personal beliefs strongly bothers people (which usually happens when unaware/disrespectful)there needs to be fixed space around where others dwelleing within these areas can feel simultaneously comfortable
Also worth mentioning...
Treat Others How You Want To Be Treated
So Yeah... Sounds obvious enough right? Something stolen kids into considering way too often at dinner tables by both children and adults alike - until perspective becomes useful again NOT putting up with nonsense behavior(insert squinted peering)
Most times checking yourself requires pre-emptively understanding regular customs every group enables- like using mobile phones continuously(frustrates my mom-to amazing levels). Ultimately rules dont matter if general mood stays light-hearted(Believe me it takes alot of work!)
Conclusion
All said and done, hospitality is a two-way street; as hosts we welcome people into our homes while guest takes time to feel comfortable. If guests get carried away with themselves they sometimes forget their shortcomings in front of us; what works best is managing keeping gathering good for everyone(summarizes the essence of this piece).
Respecting each other's personal boundaries (instead jumping to offence) only then can true involvement (& security covered - because that one matters too) come into play. Tackling these unwelcome scenarios(even ones following family secrets)(haha about the uncle who never shows apparently!?)requires swallowing pride but necessariry for efficient result.
Remember:
Grace always wins over short-lived victories